8 Ways to Fall in Love, Again ~ with Your Partner

8 Ways to Fall in Love, Again ~ with Your Partner

 

Do you want to have better love?

Do you want to be more deliberate in the ways in which you love someone?

Do you want to have the most incredible love relationship of your life?

*One caveat that is important to mention: I am speaking here about couples who have chosen well in a partner and plan to continue in their relationship and in love ~ forever.

 

Read on or Listen to this Episode of The WISDOM podcast:

 

 

If you and your partner have a desire to re-calibrate your romantic connection ~ to experience the feelings of love that were once so powerful and all-consuming ~ and to know a newfound level of intimacy and closeness, consider using all of these best practices as a means for how you will experience a greater depth of love in your existing relationship.

 

There are two necessary criteria for experiencing unconditional and unrelenting love towards your partner.  

 

You both must honour one another and the relationship as sacred and thus it requires that: (1) both members of a couple invest time and effort consistently in the relationship and each other

and

(2) you both must make the relationship a priority ~ not in place of caring for your individual needs, rather as the important and discerning practice of the choice you have made in a life partner that is both your best friend and the person that you love completely.

 

To choose wisely at the outset cannot be stated enough.  This is crucial in ensuring that your partnership continues to be compatible as you both experience the momentum of life as it impacts each of you as individuals. 

Who we are at the outset of our love relationship is not the same as who we become.

 

The common ground that you have built together and which include rituals and positive habits that you continue to embrace ~ together with the best practices that I have shared with you here, will be the ways in which your love finds new paths of growth.

 

The ways that you love must include the self.

Honouring a path of dignity and light is how you reveal the soul’s sacred journey into the divine for love and honour and wisdom live here.

The intensity of love that you feel holds a place for your true calling.

We love in the nature of true forgiveness – of allowing our partner to find and follow their path into the sacred wonder that is their true significance.

We are forgiving of their mistakes.

We are gentle with their shortcomings and we are encouraging and supportive of them in all moments – and even when we are not at our best.

We do this because we hold our partner in the highest regard.

We allow them to be who they are and we continue to focus on being our own best self.

This is so that we can show up in our love relationship ~ complete, whole and of our very best.

What does it mean to fall in love with the same person all over again?

 

 

It isn’t that you have fallen out of love although it may feel that way in certain moments or as you are critical and judgmental of your partner ~ or if you are reliving a past hurt or an unresolved wound.

 

To fall in love again and to experience a deeper and more intimate love with your current partner ~ is to first be love.

 

It is to be a greater version of you – in your honesty, in your integrity, in how you show up in the relationship and in the life that you live and with the confidence that you bring to knowing yourself best ~ because it is all of the ways that you know yourself best and as you are loving and kind ~ that you can then share this ~ with your partner.

This is the new version ~ the self-actualized version, the healed version ~ the whole version of you.

 

FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN is not because you have fallen out of love.

It is for the safe passage into the next part of your journey and for where this will take you.

 

In a relationship where two people have been together for a long while this can cultivate an environment in which you feel the safety and comfort in which to heal, to shed the rest of your past hurts, to love more completely ~ to return to love and to be all love by choice.

 

This means being forgiving of the small things, honouring what is important, living whole and free of the past – and for recognizing how the past is no longer a part of you.

 

Your love of another ~ especially the person you have chosen to be in relationship with, needs to last forever even if the relationship should end because it is in holding your capacity to be love and loving your partner so completely that you yourself relish in the personal joy that love holds for you.

 

We enable our learning of love and self-forgiveness through the visible actions of grace that we are born knowing. We need to acknowledge or capacity for love and self-love and forgiveness if we want to live in the boundless support of love that prevails.

 

You fall in love again by holding love and presence for your partner – for seeing their grace and holding gratitude in their support of your efforts.

You love easily and completely when you feel your wholeness in their company and when you are alone with yourself ~ and for consistently doing the work to heal and nurture yourself.

Unconditional self-love nourishes you as does the unconditional and complete love of your partner.

 

Self-love is the way we learn to care for our needs so that we can be self-reliant and autonomous and this makes it possible for us to love others without conditions and limits.

 

‘Love is love. It is the wisdom you hold above everything else to be your greatest.’

~ dorothy zennuriye juno

 

 

Begin with you. What are the aspects of yourself and your life that need your attention? If you are unhappy with any part of your life it tends to overflow into your love relationship.

Because when you are not happy in your own life, every external stressor exacerbates any pre-existing condition.

 

External events can make it difficult for you to be at your best. Without the right internal resources, a positive and grateful mindset and consistent healthy self-care, you can rely too heavily on your partner as the source of your happiness ~ and to help you feel better ~ and they can also become the recipient of your stressful state of being.

 

In keeping with the practices of self-love that support and foster a loving romantic relationship, I have 8 healthy practices that serve to wield love ~ fully and completely and to invite it into your heart and towards your partner.

 

the list…

1 ) Get to know who your partner is now.

Who your partner is presently is not the same person that you first began dating.

Discover what you don’t know and what has changed about your partner by making the effort to continue to learn about them. 

 

You can do this best by asking: what inspires them now, what are some of their ideals and future goals, and what are they currently working towards?

Who your partner is presently is not the same person that you first began dating. 

Observe your partner for who they currently are rather than the person that you used to know and notice what is new and different, that you may learn about them. 

Ask your partner to share what interests them now; what new hobbies or lifestyle practices are they seeking to live; what do they aspire for their future and what allows them to feel happiest, most easily? 

These are only some of the many questions that bring you closer as you dialogue on these intimate and personal ideals and as you both are willing to share more about who you currently are.

Remember all of the conversations that you had with each other as you were first getting to know one another?  In a healthy loving relationship, you are always seeking to know and learn about your partner and in doing so, they feel your love and care and interest ~ in them.  

Communication with the intention to learn what is new will allow you to discover your partner all over again.  This is how you honour their being.  Taking an interest in your partner; discovering and learning more ~ fosters greater intimacy, love and connection.  It adds another dimension of what you know and love about this person.

 

Make time to have meaningful conversations, to share intimate details about your life and your current thoughts and feelings; to ask questions, and to be willing to share of yourself without any preconceived ideas of what you think you already know.  This is how you come to know and like ~ and love the same person ~ in new and different ways.

 

Fostering love and intimacy are important in keeping love alive and for nurturing emotional connection.  For more of a deep dive, take in my podcast episode on building emotional connection and intimacy.  Listen here:

 

2)  Praise

Praise your partner for their kindness, their generosity, their help and care, for being a great parent, partner, son, daughter; for their compassion, and for being loving and respectful. 

Praise for what you appreciate and love about your significant other goes a long way in showing them how important and valuable they are to you. 

When we stop praising our partner, it often means that we have begun taking them for granted (or worse, if we are finding and pointing out what we deem as their imperfections and mistakes).  Find the love again by offering praise outwardly and often.

When you focus on and praise the good in someone, you are also encouraging them to be this and in more ways in their life.

 

4) Discover new ways to experience life together and to build new memories ~ now.

Discover new ways to build connection and intimacy that is cultivated from sharing of yourself. 

Hold the space for one another to be together as a couple in new ways.  For example, join in on your partner’s interests (even if from the sidelines as you watch) and find new activities that you both can participate in together as a way of sharing quality time and for making new memories. 

Make time to enjoy each other’s presence in simple ways. 

As you use these strategies, you will notice something wonderful that begins to happen. 

Couples who find new ways to be together and to appreciate one another again, begin to witness their emotional connection and love deepen. 

As you share in the experience of something new with your partner and as you are reminded of all that you have in common, it becomes easy to look for and enjoy new opportunities for closeness and connection ~ intimacy and love.

 

What are some new activities that you would both enjoy and which allow for fun, connection, and intimacy? 

Couples can be in bed with their cell phones and other devices and yet share intimate connection as they take time to focus on each other, to talk about the future as they make plans for fun, and as they share their intimate thoughts and ideas. 

You can live the moments of your existing life with greater presence when you are attentive to the opportunities that always show up ~ in which to connect, to show love, care, and support.

 

5) Fun and More FUN!

What are the ways that invite in fun and spontaneity into your relationship? (what did you once do for fun?)

Step out of your regular routine and be together ~ uninterrupted, in romantic settings, in adventure, and in ways that allow for replacing ‘everyday’ distractions with quality ‘face time’ and the freedom to be present (mindful), engaged, and happy.

 

Step out of your regular routine and be together ~ uninterrupted, in romantic settings, in adventure, and in ways that allow for replacing ‘everyday’ distractions with quality ‘face time’ and the freedom to be present (mindful), engaged, and happy. 

 

Many couples who go away whether overnight, for the weekend, or on a week long (or longer) vacation removed from their customary routine, have the opportunity and time to relax, to focus on each other in the absence of typical daily life stresses, and without many of life’s responsibilities. 

 

This is liberating and allows for playful fun and the re-establishing of romance, connection, and the relationship as a priority.

 

6)  Put the focus back onto your partner.  See and treat your partner as special. 

When you focus on your many roles outside of your relationship such as: parent/caregiver, friend, adult child of an aging parent, sibling, co-worker, employer, employee, you both can lose sight of the importance of being a partner ~ of being a lover, confidant, best friend, and ‘soulmate’.

If you’ve noticed that you’ve both been caught up in your individual lives and not interacting with one another as you could, return your focus to the relationship.
Make your couple relationship of priority importance.
Reaffirm the importance of your partner as the one person that you can rely on most that you have chosen to walk through life with, and someone with whom you wish to have the deepest bond of love and connection.

Tell your partner of their importance in your life.

Be present and engaged with them and expressive of your love.  Let your significant other feel special with your attention and focus and watch how your mutual love grows.

 

7)  Practice  a m n e s i a. 

Practice constructive amnesia rather than reliving the past.

 

This is a constructive and conscious way to heal, to forgive, to learn from your mistakes and to improve and evolve.

Couple clients look at me inquisitively when I teach them this practical strategy.

It is not helpful for couples to dwell on the past, especially when the past is not indicative of who they both currently are.

The idea of amnesia is for anyone who needs a new approach to forgiveness and for releasing the past. 

Directed amnesia works well particularly when couples have shown remorse and apologized for their wrongdoings. 

 

It is not necessary to bring up old hurts and wounds in moments when you are angry or unhappy. 

Practice forgiveness and releasing the past. – otherwise you both keep bringing up old wounds and hurting one another.

Therapeutic amnesia is the conscious decision to let go of the past ~ to no longer dwell on what cannot be changed and to instead learn from the situation in order that both members of the couple can go forward.  It is also to acknowledge how both members need to be different in future. 

 

8)  Challenge yourself to be different in the way that you interact with your partner. 

Treat your soul mate with as much unrelenting love, kindness and awe as you did when you first began dating. 

 

Be on your best behaviour in their presence. 

 

Over time we can forgo patience and kindness because we have become too comfortable in our relationship. 

When we let ourselves become complacent, we take our partner for granted and allow our dark side to take over far too often.  

 

Unfortunately this is also when we say things and react in ways that we likely regret later. 

 

To nurture and reclaim a new level of love and compassion, you must treat your partner with the utmost patience, respect, and kindness. 

 

The best examples of this may come from when you were first dating, when you made it a priority to let your partner know how special they are and as you easily showed them unconditional love, enthusiasm – and unrelenting interest and respect.

 

If you would like to rekindle the love in your relationship, to reawaken passion and sexual chemistry and to discover new and lasting ways of loving your partner, please let me help. 

Click here for your free discovery session with me!  Namaste!! 

 

More Love now: