Escaping Abuse:  Why We Stay. How To Leave For Good. 4 Strategies to End The Cycle

Season 2 Episode 10 of The WISDOM podcast

TIMESTAMPS:

Podcast Intro:  0-1:32  |  Definition of Abuse: 1:34 |  Episode highlights including my client ‘Beth’ and the 4 Strategies You Need to Know to Help You Leave An Abusive Relationship:  1:55  | Why We Stay: 3:11  |  The Real Life Client Story of ‘Beth’: 12:13  | How Does Someone Find Themselves in An Abusive Relationship?  24:36  |  What Self-Worth Is:  28:29  |  The Four Best Strategies to Help You Leave and Also, Keep You Out of an Abusive Relationship:  33:30  |  Final Guidance and Words of Wisdom: 47:35  |  Podcast Outro: 50:22  

 

In this episode I remind you of the power that you hold to choose for yourself the right and best relationship, and how you can stay clear of relationships that are damaging and abusive.

I also wish to illustrate how living with abuse, perpetuates a cycle of dependency and the eradicating of one’s self-worth and sense of self and I will share the story of my client ‘Beth’ and the four strategies to prevent you from finding yourself in an abusive relationship and enable you to leave.

 

TRUTH SERUM:  There are many forms of abuse. Abuse is by definition, the mistreatment of another whether intentional or as a facet of one’s consistent actions that one may not be self-aware of.

A-HA MOMENTS:  Abuse in the traditional variant forms that we categorize as physical, emotional, and psychological all originate with one’s thoughts and beliefs ~ that is what one tells one’s self and justifies in being discriminating, hurtful, and disrespectful towards another, and how one’s misguided intentions can lead into a situation and a relationship that is both damaging and abusive.

PRACTICAL WISDOM:  We know that relationships that are unhealthy and abusive are also complex and complicated.

We stay in these relationships for different reasons, whether because we have convinced ourselves that there is something of benefit to us in staying or we anticipate the enormous effort it will take to execute our decision to leave.

We stay because we tell our self that the “relationship is really not that bad” ~ that maybe “we deserve how we are being mistreated” and in some cases, we may tell ourselves “we don’t care.”

For whatever the reasons you may have found yourself with an abusive partner, know that by continuing to remain in the relationship, you continue to sacrifice yourself; emotionally, spiritually, physically, and cognitively or mentally.

 

If you are listening to this episode because something deep within you is yearning for help, guidance, and perhaps validation of what you know but have been afraid to believe, I hope that in listening, you will allow your inner voice to become louder, to rely on it for what you know is true and to be willing to care for yourself first with the knowledge that you are not alone, that you will get through this.  You will feel better, happier, and stronger and that if and when you choose it, you can and will find the right partner and the love that you truly want.

 

This is important to acknowledge, because we at times, enter into relationships while not being authentic and true to our highest morals and values.

We can let our ego get in the way of what we know is important to us because we are so thrilled that the person we are so into, finds us attractive also.

If we choose a partner as in this example, we sacrifice our integrity and a part of our self.

This means that we are not choosing someone based on the highest possible compatibility.

In the example of my client that I’m about to share, I want to highlight how we can find our self in a relationship that is controlling, dishonest, manipulative and also abusive ~ how we make it possible to stay and how it must be a choice to challenge what thoughts and beliefs we have convinced our self of in order for us to realize what is true – so that we may feel confident in our decision to leave.

 

You can convince yourself of anything ~ “that things will improve”, that “you will disappoint a lot of people if you end the relationship or call off the wedding”, or that “you as a couple are just going through a rough spot.”

When we choose a partner and a relationship to serve a particular need and not out of the desire to be in a loving relationship, you are not choosing with your heart.

For example, you may choose a partner because that person looks good on paper, because you just want a physical sexual relationship and nothing more ~ because the person can give you things and take care of you ~ or because you believe that you won’t find someone “better”.

All of these are flawed premises for how you choose a partner and a love relationship.

These are also the reasons why your self-worth diminishes.

It’s important that we take responsibility for our choices and for the reasons why we are choosing a partner.

I just want to note at the outset, if you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship its important to ask yourself did I choose someone out of a genuine desire to have compatibility, love, mutual respect, kindness and to share my life in the most honest and incredible way?

 

I also want to open a candid discussion here of the reasons for why some people remain in relationships that are distinctly abusive.

 

As you hear the story of my client Beth, and as you may reflect on a relationship in your life or in the life of someone that you know, consider how staying – or returning to the relationship and a person that mistreats you, can become a radical wake up call, to how you are treating yourself and what you have made acceptable even when you know that this is not what you truly want.

 

The sad and yet truthful reality about remaining in a relationship where there is abusive behaviour and a lack of true and unconditional love, is that you have chosen to allow this mistreatment and to allow it to continue.

 

Ultimately you allow mistreatment if you are not willing to stop it through your words and actions and of enforcing what is acceptable ~ to walk away if the other person continues in the behaviour and above all else, to know that you are worthy of being treated well and with kindness, consideration, respect and love.

 

If you are suffering in an abusive relationship, it is in part because your self-worth and the feelings and thoughts that you hold about yourself ~ needs to change. Your self-worth, self-esteem and the fearful thoughts that you have convinced yourself of ~ needs a rebirth.

You need to believe first in yourself ~ that you will be okay on your own, that you deserve better, that you are strong enough to walk away, and that you and each one of us deserves to have a healthy and loving partner relationship.

 

One of the first things you can do is to acknowledge how you have made it possible to stay and to be willing to examine how you got here so that you can choose different.

To acknowledge what has made it possible for you to stay, ask yourself, “What keeps me here?” “What keeps me in this relationship?” Be wholly honest as you write your answers. See your words in front of you as your truth. Know you have allowed this even though it is not what you truly want.

 

Next, be willing to ask: “WHAT IS THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH about why I need to move forward and to end this relationship?” Again, write your answers so you may see in front of you, the truth.  You make the truth real by having the words in physical form.

 

To be honest about your reasons for staying helps you to recognize what you have been telling yourself that is not entirely accurate nor true.

You also remind yourself in the second question of what is true. Being truthful will always give you the right answers and the path that you need to take even when you may be unwilling to do so.

 

Let’s jump now into the client story of Beth, as highlighting her experiences and choices may be helpful for you as you come to decide what you will do.

I will also share the 4 strategies that will help you to leave an abusive relationship and to also ensure that you never allow yourself to enter into a relationship with someone who will mistreat you.

 

My client Beth* is intelligent, beautiful, and caring.  She has an excellent career that she enjoys and excels in what she does.  She has been divorced for almost eight years and is a single Mom to her two sons (who are approaching adolescence).  

Beth has supportive parents, siblings and friends who are always willing to help her in any way that they can.  Her children’s father lives in another city with his new wife and child and Beth’s sons visit their father regularly.  Looking from the outside in, it would seem as though Beth has everything going for her ~ and she does.

 

Yet there is one element that haunts Beth from her past, and that has affected every love relationship that she has ever been in.

Beth grew up in an environment where she received emotional and physical abuse.

 

It was behaviours and treatment that was so well ingrained that it was considered ‘normative’ and not ever identified or labelled as abuse.

 

In sharing Beth’s story, I want to highlight for you how it becomes possible to allow others to mistreat us and how we allow abuse to continue into adulthood ~ as we internalize our feelings of hurt and inadequacy.

 

Fundamentally, we allow abusive to continue because we justify the other’s person behaviours, making excuses for how we are treated so the abuse becomes acceptable in our mind.

In an effort to diminish or ignore what is really happening, we might also choose not to speak to others or to not be wholly truthful about what we might have already come to experience as typical treatment by another when it is actually abusive.

 

We also downplay or diminish the comments and reactions of others when they happen to hear or see that we are being mistreated.

We justify this poor treatment of our self in part because we know that the reaction of our loved ones would be strong and they would indeed discourage us from staying in the relationship.

 

For many people who are with an abusive partner and who continue to remain in the relationship, do so because one of their primary coping strategies is to live in the past.

They remind themselves of how good their partner and the relationship was initially, and they continue to convince themselves that “this isn’t really how my partner usually is” and “they can be so kind and loving – I’ve seen it.”

Of course, this is hopeful and wishful thinking and not their present moment reality.

“A most important factor in influencing how we might find ourselves in an abusive love relationship, is what we have already experienced and become accustomed to in our family of origin.”   – dorothy zennuriye juno

 

Beth grew up with a mother who was overbearing and controlling ~ making all of her decisions and being overly critical ~ demanding in fact that Beth be ‘perfect’ in her grades, in how she looked, and in everything that she did and then her mother would be harsh and overcritical when Beth didn’t always live up to these unrealistic standards.

 

In therapy, Beth talked about how difficult it was for her to make decisions for herself once she left home for College and how she continually struggled to figure out what she wanted, since the voice of her mother telling her what she should do ~ would continue to echo in her mind.

 

This wasn’t the only behaviour that Beth grew up experiencing as normative.  Beth’s mother would frequently berate and mistreat her father, subjecting him to harsh criticism and bullying.

 

“We can know on a cognitive level that it is wrong for someone to be abusive and yet find our self as the recipient of abuse ~ and to make excuses for this to justify staying in the relationship.”

 

There are a multitude of reasons why you may need to end a toxic and abusive relationship and yet any or all of the reasons may still not help you to do so.

Of the many clients – of both genders – that I have worked with – who suffered extensively in horribly abusive relationships, the one important aspect that they all share – that enabled them to continue in the relationship is that all gave up their personal power by the many different ways that they normalized the abusive behaviour.

 

“You live what you are taught until you choose to change this.” – dorothy zennuriye juno

 

Abusive behaviour takes many forms. It could be a sibling who yells excessively, shouts profanities, or who physically attacks you.

 

It could be a parent who easily loses their temper and lashes out, berating aspects of your character, poking fun at your physical traits, or diminishing your abilities.

 

It may be in giving the silent treatment indefinitely, or the continued favouring of one child over another, as this is emotional abuse, and damaging to self-esteem and self-worth.

It is unnecessary and abusive to lash out and hit your child, even if it is intended as corrective punishment.

 

Not all of the ways that we may be mistreated are intentional. As a human race, we all continue in patterns that have been taught to us until we critically examine these learned behaviours with different eyes and as we break the cycle by choosing to no longer accept this mistreatment with firm and clear boundaries.

 

This isn’t always easy. But it is up to you to identify when a relationship does not feel safe nor comfortable, or if you are are treated as though you are undeserving of care and love.

In relationships, where abusive behaviour is quietly unobtrusive, yet prevalent, it can take longer to discern that this is not love and that to be mistreated is unacceptable.

 

You can recognize when a parent or another caregiver is mistreating you but then find yourself returning to the abusive setting and receiving the same behaviour even after you have stood up for yourself.

 

Patterns of abuse are just that.  They reoccur until one person no longer allows the cycle to continue. What is difficult is that abuse often exists under the pretext of love ~ which makes it highly confusing.

 

The relationship, already established and built upon a need or dependency on another makes it highly difficult at times, to leave.

For example, when a child is being abused and yet that child is dependent upon their parent to care for them and keep them safe. The lines, deeply blurred, teach a child that love can come with abuse and that this is somehow acceptable.

 

As an adult, to change the pattern of abuse, you first need to recognize what is abuse and mistreatment and to name them as so.

 

It then requires a retraining – a reprogramming – of what you have allowed yourself to accept and to examine what beliefs you hold that have allowed this behaviour to perpetuate under the guise of normalcy.

 

You empower yourself to stop the cycle by taking control of what you will do, understanding that the other person may or may not be willing to change.

 

Finally, two further notes for contemplation: 

First: remember that when you give up your power, you give up your freedom and your ability to choose what is right and best for you.

If you are consistently not treated with kindness, unconditional love, respect, value, and worth, ask yourself: “Have I given my power over to this person in exchange for love (or something else) and what likely is conditional love ~ love that is quickly revoked if you are not obedient to what is expected or demanded of you?

 

Second: you don’t need to experience emotional or physical abuse in childhood to find yourself in an abusive relationship. Unfortunately, none of us are wholly exempt from receiving hurtful words, criticism, outbursts of anger and manipulative behaviour.

Abuse doesn’t need to be consistent to be damaging. What does help is for you to acknowledge behaviour that is unacceptable and to say so. If it persists then there is a problem.

---

In a love relationship, “true” love is “all encompassing and unconditional.”  If someone loves you, then you will be treated with fairness and equality and with the utmost respect.

If you are not treated this way and if you continue to hope that things could be different, then are you really in a relationship that is truly loving?

 

In a world where so many people are admittedly unhappy in their love relationship, should you continue in your relationship in an effort to make the best of your situation?

Do you ever tell yourself that “your life will somehow be worse without this person?”  Is there a certain draw or upside to being in this relationship that you don’t want to give up?

These are some examples of what we tell ourself that cause us to hold ourself hostage in a relationship where the other person no longer (or perhaps never did) truly honour and care for who you are.

 

How does someone find themselves in an abusive relationship

…and how do they finally leave?

We make it possible to stay in abusive relationships because we don’t want to admit the truth to ourselves.

We find ourselves in abusive relationships because we were willing to ignore the signs (and the behaviours) that were present.  Sometimes this happens only after we form an attachment or bond and put our trust in another person.

 

Most clients I speak to seem a little surprised at first when I use the word ‘abuse’ to describe what they are telling me. Some feel relief since what they have been thinking and feeling for some time has been validated.

 

Abusive behaviour is cyclical. It begins gradually. It is often accompanied by apologies and broken promises of change and that the abusive behaviour will stop.

By the time our self-esteem and worth have been further compromised or damaged, we have already made this relationship important.  We have invested ourselves in the relationship even though we know that how we are being treated is wrong.

Most clients are quite startled when they (because of my request of them) begin their own Google search on the word abuse and see for themselves, the definitive examples which often depict quite accurately what they are living.

 

We also make it difficult to leave an abusive relationship if we convince ourselves that “things aren’t really that bad” even when we are humiliated and berated and also if we recognize that we feel embarrassed or overwhelmed knowing that we rely on this relationship, or have become dependent upon it.

We stay because we tell our self, that “maybe it will get better” – “maybe they will change,” “maybe our partner will get help,” or “maybe they are actually right and we deserve how we are being treated.”  These are all words that my clients have spoken directly.

 

The list of ‘maybes’ that build in our mind is ceaseless until we have once again talked our self out of ending the relationship. Instead we continue to hold the fleeting hope that maybe things will magically improve.

 

Something that you need to know ~ you give up your power by avoiding or denying the truth.

This means that you have rejected your ability to act on factual information and with that, the freedom that comes from living authentic each time that you make excuses for and are willing to accept being mistreated.

 

If you allow someone to repeatedly point blame onto you (by doing so, they absolve themselves from taking responsibility for their actions).  If you are repeatedly told by this person that you have done something wrong or that you are less than worthy of being treated with kindness and love, then you need to ask yourself, “How is this person accepting me for who I am?” and “What will be the long term effect of this treatment of me on my self-esteem and self-worth?”

 

Self-worth is the value and worth that you hold of your self. If you have high self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence, you will not allow someone to mistreat you.

 

If you have been exposed to abuse as part of your upbringing as it was with Beth, you may be more likely to make excuses for the behaviour that is abusive.

If you allow another person whom you have put trust in, to determine whether what you are doing or who you are is ‘good enough’, then you are giving away your power in hopes that someone else will give you the love and validation that you are in search of and of which allows you to feel “good” about your self, rather than believing in your value and worth, and feeling “good enough” on your own merit and because you know this to be true.

If you continue to allow someone to be abusive in their treatment of you, then you have given away your personal power. It isn’t until you reclaim your power and your life that you will have the strength to leave and to end the abuse.

 

Now, let’s hear more about Beth….

In a love relationship, inappropriate or abusive behaviour typically occurs and escalates only after the initial courtship and once an emotional attachment is developed.

In Jack’s case he gained Beth’s trust and loyalty by being able to financially take care of her and her sons.  She recalls that this felt ‘surreal’ and ‘like a dream come true’ to be lavishly treated to exotic vacations, romantic dinners and shopping sprees since Jack was extremely wealthy.

By her reports, Jack was also on his best behaviour at the outset, even though Beth admits to noticing aspects of Jack’s character that initially troubled her.

Since the relationship was new and there were many upsides to being with Jack, Beth ignored her nagging intuition.

 

Some of what Jack had told Beth about his failed marriage and his previous relationships were red flags and became important foreshadowing of what was to come.

Beth confessed to me that she chose to continue on in the relationship even though she was aware of the troubling examples of how Jack had mistreated other women that he dated and how he had admittedly been deceptive, disrespectful and unfaithful.

When we want a relationship so badly and if we desperately want someone to love us, we decide to continue in the relationship (even if we already know that this relationship and this person’s behaviour is not good for us.)

 

Beth like so many, have bought into the cultural and societal influences that tell us we need to be in a relationship in order to feel whole and complete and of course society continues to drive a bias that supports being in a relationship over being single.

 

You will always know when you are in a relationship that is not right for you.  If in the beginning you do not immediately see this, eventually the other person’s true character will reveal itself.

 

Remember that before you make important decisions such as moving in together, getting married or having children, you must feel confident that this is the best possible person you could choose for who you are.

You will always know when your partner is not the best choice for you. Like Beth and many others, we talk ourselves out of leaving out of ending a relationship that is unhealthy, and in some cases, abusive and toxic.

 

As we continue, I’ll include here the best strategies to help you leave and also, to keep you safely out of an abusive relationship.

 

#1. Use self-honesty to help you acknowledge what is true about what you have been allowing and accepting up to now.  Embrace self-forgiveness to move through what guilt, anger, or fear may have kept you from making the right decision before now.

 

We all have this amazing gift called our inner voice.  Some would say that our inner voice is our soul consciousness ~ our highest self ~ in communication with us, ever present and always guiding us to live our highest potential.  When we ignore or deny our inner knowing, it always makes for a less than ideal situation.

 

As she reflected, Beth admits that her inner voice was screaming at her ~ and often ~ to leave the relationship.  Instead, she chose to rationalize her experiences and talk herself out of doing what she knew was right.

Beth found ways to justify Jack’s egocentric behaviour and the aspects of his personality that she did not like, making excuses to herself that allowed her to continue in the relationship.

 

For Beth, the whirlwind of being wooed was fun and exciting.  It certainly made Beth feel special, at least until more of Jack’s true personality revealed itself.

When Beth began to see Jack as self-serving, demanding, and controlling, she admits lying to herself and rationalizing the abuse and the many lies that she would catch Jack in, by diminishing and downplaying their significance.

 

It may be helpful to also mention that in Beth’s marriage, her husband cheated on her on more than one occasion.

Beth continued to stay in that relationship and even becoming pregnant with her second child, after she learned of her ex-husband’s cheating.  Beth remembers telling herself that this pregnancy would somehow help improve the relationship.

However, it didn’t and in fact, her former husband ended up having a child with the person he was cheating with.

 

“We allow ourselves to tolerate what is not good for us and what we do not want if we are willing to accept less than what we deserve.”

 

#2. Know your absolute rules and boundaries for what is acceptable and what is not okay. What are you willing to tolerate and what are your deal breakers?

What are you absolutely not willing to negotiate? What would be a “good enough” reason for you to end a relationship?

 

When they first began dating, Beth told Jack that she did not want to date a smoker nor someone who used recreational drugs.

Jack smoked.  He told Beth that he was planning to quit.  At that time, Beth had no reason not to believe him and continued to date Jack.

Yet, it was two years later before Jack made the decision to quit smoking.  Six months after quitting, he took up smoking again when on vacation with her, much to Beth’s dislike.

Beth also discovered that Jack had been secretly using cocaine when they had first met and for almost a year thereafter.  The true extent of Jack’s alcohol dependency revealed itself months into the relationship.

 

Should you make accommodations and give in to your relationship rules and the boundaries that you have in place? What will you compromise in your relationship and what values are you not willing to give in to?  How do you know when someone is manipulating the situation to have what they want and when they are genuinely trying to make a desired change?

 

It’s when you compromise your “deal breakers” ~ what you absolutely need and want of a relationship and a partner ~ that you find yourself regretful and perhaps resentful. It remains only you that can change this.

 

When it feels as though your morals and values have been comprised, it’s because they have.

You have two choices if this happens. You can continue to give in and compromise your personal beliefs and what you know is right for you and this will likely cause you to feel unhappy and disconnected from your authentic self as your self-worth erodes.

Or you can be firm with your boundaries and assert your needs and what you believe in.

This may mean making a decision to not continue to date or be in a relationship with someone who has different values and habits.

You can also choose to no longer be with a person who is deceptive and untrustworthy and who consistently behaves inappropriately.

 

As Beth learned from our fateful conversion during a session, Jack didn’t actually love her ~ he loved what his money could buy and how he could control their relationship by demanding what he wanted and bulldozing his way to get it.

 

If you begin to lose yourself in your relationship, if you begin to make choices that compromise what you believe in and what you stand for, then you are not in a relationship with someone who values who you are ~ and you are not valuing yourself either.

 

You cannot truly be loved by another person if they do not accept you as you are, or if they continue to press you to change what is important to you in order to allow them to have their way.  If you allow yourself to compromise what is important to you and what you stand for, then you are not valuing yourself to be what you are indeed worthy of.

 

A love relationship will require some compromise.  What I have seen from working with thousands of couples is that, the relationships which are the healthiest, that have the deepest and most loving emotional bond and connection, are those in which both members of the couple maintain respectful and loving communication despite disagreement and even conflict.

These are also the couples who have clear and distinct boundaries, openly stated and respectfully upheld with each other.

 

You will not agree with everything that your partner says and does, but the idea behind free will choice is so that you can choose a partner that is best suited for who you are and that has upstanding values, beliefs and morals similar to your own.

A betrayal of trust of one’s personal character (how you present yourself and what you profess to be true about who you are) is perhaps the most damaging betrayal of all.

 

 

In an authentic love relationship, you will never need nor be required to give up who you are.  It does matter that you represent yourself honestly so that you can begin a relationship feeling confident that who you are is what the other person is learning about.

 

A great self-help exercise that I recommend everyone do before stepping back into the dating world if they are newly single, is to identify your rules and boundaries for being in a relationship.

Maybe you have less tolerance because of your recent experiences, perhaps you are more clear now as to what is imperative in your relationship going forward and for what you will not negotiate.

 

What happened in Beth’s life can happen if we make allowances that compromise our sense of self. Our sense of self is knowing who we are and what we stand for.  Know with the utmost clarity what your boundaries are and know that you have them for an important reason.  

If someone you begin to like doesn’t respect or honour your needs, or your right to have boundaries in place and if they do not respectfully abide by these boundaries, then that person is not for you.

 

#3. Interview the other person thoroughly. How long does it take before you can confidently say that you know someone extremely well? It’s often those first few dates with someone that reveals so much.  

Be willing to ask (all of) the questions that you want to know about someone right away and pay attention to all of the non-spoken cues that speak volumes about a person’s character and the personality traits that begin to reveal themselves.

 

If red flags appear and they often do early in knowing someone, you can decide if these are aspects of the other person that are deal breakers for you.  This allows you to gently step away before a relationship begins, or before it becomes serious. The longer you stay the more difficult it is to step away especially if you have established an emotional connection with the other person.  Remember that to talk yourself out of your gut instinct, of what you know, or to rationalize someone’s mistreatment of you is not ever how you ever want to begin a new relationship.

 

#4. Something that will help you to choose the right partner and a loving and healthy relationship is to know exactly what you want and to not settle for less than this. I often ask my clients to write a list of what denotes their ideal partner.

Doing so will help you to become clear about what you want, including your most important “must haves” for a relationship.  

In the earliest stages of dating someone and long before you begin to develop romantic feelings and an attachment, this ideal mate checklist will identify whether someone indeed has the character traits and values that you are looking for.

 

You’re on the right track with a new prospect that you’ve been dating when the person that you are seeing continues to WOW you with the criteria that you have noted on your list of ideals.

Be willing to keep asking questions and to observe carefully since actions do speak louder than words.

If what you are hearing and being told seems overzealous or too good to be true, it often is. You want the person to show you who they are and still, you must also be willing to walk away if they are not truly right for you.

 

Please listen to your instincts and honour your rules and boundaries for what is and is not ideal based on what you need.

Always consider how you are being treated by someone and whether you would allow this treatment if it was directed towards a child.

Having this context is helpful when you may error on the side of being too lenient with or forgiving of how someone is treating you.

 

This is all to help you choose wisely before you step into a new relationship.

 

By asking the questions that are important to you and observing the other person’s actions (and not just hearing what they tell you) and in paying close attention to how they treat you (and others in their life), you will learn and know much about whether this person is someone who is truly respectful of you, your boundaries, and what you value and uphold as important.

 

I think we can agree that it is a much better plan to be clear about what you want for a relationship and a partner and to do the most thorough interviewing and assessing possible before you make a commitment to be in a relationship with someone.

And if you, like Beth, suspect that you’ve been duped into believing that someone is claiming to be what they are not, this is your impetus to leave. Life is too precious to be treated unkindly and with disrespect.

If you are not consistently treated with kindness and respect, let this be a wake up call to begin giving yourself what it is that you are searching for from another person.

 

*The name of my client and others have been changed to maintain confidentiality.  Additional details or circumstances may also have been altered in order to ensure their utmost privacy.

 

Here is a link to download a PDF with episode notes and questions that I encourage you to ask of yourself that will help you to mobilize yourself to take action.

 

And… a few helpful resources for your inner work and self-love:

 

 

 

*If you have a question or if you would like my guidance or help, please reach out to me.  You can find me at: dorothyzennuriyejuno.com

 

Find all Episodes here:  The WISDOM podcast

Love in your inbox?  Subscribe to my Weekly WISDOM Notes here:

 

Book some time together to discuss how I can help!

 

A generous ‘thank you’ to Audio Engineer, Pavel Kirpikau for your incredible help! platosound.com

Podcast Theme Music: ‘Aura’ from the Album, Illuvia by Eternell

Beautiful Accompanying Music: Eternell ‘Melting While Falling’ and ‘Home’