The Love of My Life

The WISDOM podcast  Season 2  Episode 46

 

The release of this episode on Valentine’s Day; a day in which the world is reminded of the significance of romantic love and the ideals for what it means to be in a relationship and to be ‘in love’.

For one of my clients who will for the first time in all of her 41 years, celebrate Valentine’s Day in a love relationship and might I add, one that allows her to be all of herself and in the safety and security of trust that her partner will love her.

Her words echo the sentiment of so many: “I want to make a big deal of this.” We all aspire to love. It is what builds a beautiful and complete life.

In the absence of love, of loving another, of loving our self, we wither; we succumb to loneliness, sadness; our mind and heart struggle to find meaning and fulfillment because love is the most powerful energy of the universe.

 

In this episode, I share the importance of love of yourself on a day inspired by love and at a time in which we are all being called to look beyond what we once put our energy and effort into, and to take stock of what is really important for the success, happiness and abundance that we all desire.

TRUTH SERUM:  For however much you want something if you do not believe that you are deserving; if you do not hold love and appreciation of yourself; your efforts soon become thwarted in the distraction of seeking love and affection outside of yourself.

A-HA MOMENTS:  Pure and authentic love of another is the most sacred gift. Love of yourself is how you thrive in a state of invincibility and courage and light.  Let me share with you what messages will best inspire how you think and feel about love and the wonder of its potential to heal and nourish you.

 

PRACTICAL WISDOM:  How willing are you to slay the greatest experience of love? How often have you thought about what it means to have great love? To know what it feels like in the depths of your being; in each and every cell of your body?

To be loved unconditionally and in the full expression of who and what you are; and because of this, to feel the sense of invincibility and confidence that comes with knowing that you are loved. Of the many ways that love finds you right here, in the presence of all that you are; never needing to be anything more except what you are inspired to become.

The honour that you hold as you live of great love, is the honour of your perfect nature, and for what you aspire as love in action; because even as you witness yourself carefree and of your goodness, love holds for you perfect wonder and inspiration. It is this certainty – this grace – this resilience that offers you the willingness to see how great you are.

Your imminent happiness is a facet of how deep and courageous your love may be unto yourself. Because when love is unforgiving, you are supported in all that you do, all that you seek, and the knowledge that builds for you a life of certainty and promise.

Have you experienced a greatest love? A pet that you adored, a partner that broke the mold for what eternal love was to be; a parent who continues to love you endlessly and adorns you with actions of kindness, of care and generosity of their love.

 

Open your heart to this; to the deepest expression of your love; to what endless, eternal love must be. Draw it close. See what you life holds when you open yourself to this goodness; to this resilience and strength; to this pure and distinct love that fills your heart; your heart wide open to love and of truth.

Truth of what it means to love without conditions; truth of your glorious nature as love in action; truth as the perfect witnessing of what holds certainty and love ever more.

 

Who is your greatest love? It would have to be you. It would have to be all of the brilliance of what you are, manifested as your perfect nature, as the love that awaits you unconditionally as you rise up to the perfection of what you are.

 

 

Love invested into yourself allows you to feel your importance, your deserving of all of the goodness life may offer. All of the beauty that comes to light is how you witness love in its pure and simple grace.

When you hold yourself in the dignity of what you are; when you hold yourself in comfort and love and of servitude to others, you are free to cast unto yourself the honour and integrity of loving yourself best.

You become the epitome of self-actualized, because it is in holding love unto yourself as you are, that you begin the journey; the path of self-reliance, self-security, self governance, self-wisdom and the healing power of how this transmutes itself into your will and honour.

We typically look to others to love us so that we may feel worthy and deserving of love. I am suggesting that you must as part of your journey, hold the infinite blessing of love unto yourself. Allow for the means for love to be present; to be what you feel and live as.

 

Be the love that never falters or recoils, love that is for you of arduous grace. Let it be something that you are deeply committed to.

Learn how to love yourself. You will know when you experience this because it will feel of utter completeness.

It will be the realization that you are whole; that you have always been whole and perfect as you are. This perfection, this grace, this love becomes the brilliance of your inner light.

The more you love and honour yourself, the more beautiful your light; the more your esteem and confidence grows and the more whole you feel and become.

You will have the great loves that we all go in search of. We are socialized to experience our self through the eyes of another who adorns you with their love.

Yet, you must remember that the first person you are to love fully is your self. Even if you have not been shown this, you know – we all know how to love. It may be buried within us, but it is always accessible.

Further, your sense of self is governed by the positive feelings that you hold and your love and belief in your ability to be a success in the world.

Now, in this wisdom that is before you, how do you guide yourself into the light of love that you may hold; for yourself in all moments?

How does self-love happen if it is not something that you have sought to practice? And how does your goodness and your gratitude open you to love?

If you are someone that has not believed in the need for self-love or if you have not understood what this truly feel like, now is your time.

Soften into this experience with the privilege of these three questions – all of which are meant to hold wisdom and in the certain comfort of what you are and all of what you may be.

Answer each question with love directed into yourself as kind words and helpful thoughts; and the ideas that love ascends when you allow it to be present.

These questions are best asked in the context of journal prompts where you write your answers as your mind outflows with your heart and then of course you act upon this.

 

1. What am I grateful of? (Make this about you. What gratitude do you hold of and for yourself?)

2. How can I practice more self-love each day? Name the actions. Hold yourself accountable by writing these by making these a part of your daily schedule, and choosing to focus each morning on what you will do each day in self-love.

3. How will I know when I love myself intrinsically? (What will tell you that you are loving unto yourself? And remember that self-love includes the kind and gentle words that you say inside your mind and it is the self-care that you do lovingly.) Let yourself answer from your heart; and be surprised at how revealing and honest your truth is.

Loving yourself is not exclusive of loving others. It does mean that you cherish yourself – the words spoken are kind; not harmful, not negative. When you hold authentic value and worth of yourself, you witness feelings of genuine happiness directed towards yourself and of course, in all places in your life and towards others.

Your positivism helps you to be encouraged and the messages you speak to yourself are reflective of what truly matters.

Your possibility for growth and freedom and light, must be the direct outpouring of your encouragement your forgiveness, your belief. To have a love relationship with yourself is not an egocentric behaviour. It is what helps you live in your light and of your sacred wonder.

A few examples of how your self-esteem and self-worth grow because of your kindness in words and actions directed within: What you think repeatedly of yourself must be in support of the direction of what you are seeking. Words of love and encouragement and kindness must be what inspires you; what ignites confidence and joy.

Your self-worth is reflected in the thoughts and feelings you hold when you think about yourself and in what you believe based in what you have been taught and how you have been treated by those who once had the power to influence. Give yourself this power. Let it not remain in the hands of those who do not hold true self-worth in themselves.

You heal words and actions of unkindness when you reclaim yourself; when you are willing to define your goodness, your brilliance as you are and for yourself. You hold the power to be love directed unto yourself. This is how you continue to grow self-worth and self-esteem.

And an endnote: We look to others to love us and then are disappointed when we do not feel loved or they do not love us in the right way. Instead love yourself completely. Then, when you look for a partner to share your life with, you are choosing someone of the best character and morals and who treats you lovingly and with the utmost respect.

We do not require someone to love us when we have learned to love our self. This is the greatest gift a mother could teach her child; that they are capable of loving their self; that they can love unconditionally their self and others. The greatest gift a father could give is to love profusely, without conditions; without needing his children to show or confirm their love; that he may adorn his love to all of his family in the privilege of being a part of their lives. His family will easily love him for this.

I share this not only at a time in which all of us need to have and hold greater self-love, but we also need to rely on our self for feelings of self-worth, happiness, and confidence.

As you do this; as you rise up to own and honour your belief in yourself and your abilities and as you begin to practice the ways in which you have identified in your answers to my questions of what it means to love and respect yourself; then you will choose the people with whom you hold intimate loving relationships with and what partner that you decide will be the most loving example of dignity, grace, kindness and unrelenting love.

 

This message is meant to guide you into yourself for reclaiming self-love and for having the most incredible experience of this. Let your answers to these three questions guide your actions of self-love and self-care. If you are ready to dive in even deeper, I have curated an ultimate self-love wisdom toolkit. It is meant to be your guide and the ultimate source of building and sustaining self-love.  You can find it here: The Ultimate Self-Love Wisdom Toolkit

 

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