‘ask dorothy’

I AM SPECIAL | A Real Life Client Story

The WISDOM podcast  Season 3  Episode 4

        

 

In therapy and life coaching I see how clients at times fall into the pattern of finding what is wrong, what is not working; and what they are not happy with; and this becomes a way that they approach life. This can cause one to remain mired in problems rather than the solutions that they need to find and live.

Anyone that has worked with me knows that I really do care about my clients. I take my role in their life – seriously; and I challenge clients to do the work that they know is important and necessary. What I also do is work alongside with them every step of the way. I also seek out the moments that are conducive to being playful and to laugh; to find a way in to help a client see how incredible they are; and to believe in themselves and in their ability to live their greatness.

Maybe that is a part of what makes me unique or special in what I do.

Important to making change and not remaining stuck in the same thought patterns is to challenge the thoughts you hold.

At first, it isn’t always enough to do this in your mind because the ways in which you have been thinking; your perceptions and the beliefs you hold are so well ingrained and powerful, that you mind returns to what it knows; what neural pathways are strongest and thus most rehearsed.

To create change in how you think and feel and of course in how you live your life, it is important – and necessary – to challenge and disprove the thoughts that have been causing you to suffer.

Join me here to watch this episode of ‘ask dorothy’ on my YouTube Channel!  

 

My client Jacob was having a difficult time believing that he was special and unique; that in leading with his heart, he was thoughtful, considerate, loving, and kind beyond what was ‘typical’. We began the topic of what constitutes being ‘special’ as he expressed his current disappointment in the dating world; and as he lamented his previous love relationship in which, in his words, “despite all that he did” his then partner chose to break up with him.

Jacob never really believed in her stated reasons, and up until the moments of our conversation, he was troubled that in some way, he had not been ‘good enough’ nor ‘special’.

The definition of special is: to be distinguished by some unusual quality; to be other than the usual.

This definition would suggest that each one of us is special as we all have both the inherent qualities that make us unique and different in beautiful ways and we also have the ability to stand out; to go above and beyond in what we do, in what we choose; in how we are different and unique.

 

When you realize that you are indeed special, your confidence grows as does your ability to feel self-love.

In therapy and life coaching, I encourage clients to bring with them to the session whatever is most pertinent and relevant in this moment. We may have homework to look at together from our previous session, and overarching goals that we will continue to progress towards. Still, therapy and life coaching is a very present moment experience.

You need to bring to the session what is happening in your life and in the world inside your mind in the here and now, so that we can examine what is true and extinguish what is not accurate or untrue; and to rework what inner dialogue and self-talk holds you hostage to what you have been telling yourself and believing.

 

I encouraged Jacob to reflect on the many examples that showed him – that proved to him – that he is special; and how he can begin to feel this with certainty and conviction.

 

It actually matters less that others find you special; even though they absolutely will. It matters more that you believe in your ability to be special as an important inherent quality of who and what you are.

 

In that same session, Jacob would recall many examples of how others believed he was special; his family who valued his input and often came to him for advice and guidance, his team at work who inundated him with words of gratitude and powerful messages of appreciation for all that he did to uplift them and to highlight their strengths; his previous love relationships, and in his platonic friendships with women; in which he reflected on many examples of kind words and actions that conveyed to him he was special and unique.

Jacob could begin to see just how he would often go beyond what would be typical; to be loving, kind, thoughtful, and to express his heartfelt emotions – which enabled him to connect with others more deeply.

 

What mattered most is that Jacob could find the proof for himself, in the kind and thoughtful actions that were the natural outpouring of his soul. He shared one example with me of how he had recently begun a business partnership with a friend that he had met through his love of cars; and how excited his friend was to have Jacob offer his unique services and expertise as another aspect of what this business would offer their customers. Jacob’s unique and special skills are what added value to his friend’s business; and it would also generate for him a side income and new clients.

We often don’t realize all of the ways that we are indeed special; and how we contribute to the lives of others and to the world at large by simply being who we are and enjoying what we have to offer.

Begin to see that you are special; that even as others have their own unique qualities and abilities, you are never shadowed by what someone else is capable of. Most important is that you focus on your unique skills and the attributes that make you special.

 

As you witness the ways in which others share their gifts in the world; it cannot but help you to remember that each one of us has so much to offer.

I think of all of the people that inspire by simply doing what they do, and to be willing to follow their unique path as they put themselves out there in the world through their desire to live their unique self – unapologetic and with confidence.

 

Once you do this; once you see and hold the proof of your goodness, your kind nature, your successes, your accomplishments; and your ability to be special and any other adjective that you seek; you hold for yourself the beautiful and unique gift of wisdom and a sense of self is sacred and special. You are unique.

 

To live your truth is to always shine brightly what makes you special. Begin to acknowledge your talents and abilities; and the innate gifts that you have always known. 

 

Jacob didn’t lose a love relationship because he was not special, nor special enough; rather, and in his words; upon realizing the truth; that this person did not wholly appreciate all that he was and continues to be.

It is so important in dating and in choosing a life partner, that we find someone who values us; who sees our unique nature as special in the world. For as long as we continue to see our partner as special and all of the other incredible qualities that they are, we will continue to love and appreciate them in their completeness of this.

Choose to recognize all of your good and godly action that is who you are by nature. It is really a matter of giving yourself credit for how you are already special; for seeing the good and the ‘different’ in what you do naturally as an outpouring of being yourself; and for remembering that others see it in you.

This is how you live in awe of your own abilities and wonder; and it is also how you inspire yourself to be more.

 

Find the special that exists in you first; and then light up your life with it.

This is how you will feel your wholeness, and what reminds you of what is already your destiny – your greatness.

If you wish, do what Jacob did. Brainstorm a list of what defines your unique abilities and what makes you special. You only need one or two items to begin; to see that you are more than you realize. As you grow your I AM Special list’ you will remember the qualities and attributes; the beliefs and the actions; the gifts that you hold that allow for your unique and beautiful nature to rise up.

It’s not about comparison, it’s about shining the spotlight on yourself in a most humble and beautiful way that reminds you of what you had forgotten. Then, go into the world remembering this – living this as you approach everything and as what you bring to everything you do. This is how you approach life in a manner in which you live of your worth and your greatness.

I’d love to hear some or all of what you have on your list. Share it with me. You can leave a comment here or write me a note to dorothy@dorothyratusny.com. Until next time, I wish you much peace and love.

 

 

Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you…

Namaste!

If you have a question or if you would like my guidance or help, please reach out to me:  dorothy@dorothyratusny.com

 

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A generous ‘thank you’ to Audio Engineer, P. Kirpikau  radioplato

Podcast Theme Music: ‘Aura’ from the Album, Illuvia by Eternellwww.eternell.net/album/illuvia

 

 

More Special ‘ness’ and Love from me to you:

Live Your Greatness [Podcast Episode Season 1]