“Becoming A More Confident YOU” with Dorothy Ratusny
the Wisdom Podcast Season 1 Episode 6
TIMESTAMPS:
Podcast Intro: 0-2:12 | Free Bonus Curated Content to Download for this Episode! 2:13 | What Makes A Person Confident? 3:55 | The Definition of Confidence: 5:54 | The Three Most Effective Ways to Build Self-Confidence: 8:36 | The Rationale for These Three Best Practices 12:30 | Growing Your Confidence: 16:54 | BONUS Practice #1: 17:34 | BONUS Practice #2: 22:06
If you ever wanted to feel more self-confident and deserving of your successes and to own what I call your ‘greatness’, then this episode is going to be the strategy that you need. If you want to feel the confidence of knowing that your decisions are the right and best ones for you; and to have greater confidence in all that you do, then the 3 most effective practices that I am about to share, are going to make it easy for you build greater confidence and to live empowered because of what you think and believe about yourself.
In this episode we dive into what makes a person confident, and how you can grow your confidence to extreme levels by choice; because confidence grows with your affirmative words of yourself. Changing the inner landscape of your thoughts to empower rather than diminish your abilities, grows confidence exponentially. Your inner dialogue then becomes the sacred and empowering messaging that you live by. In other words, you are more careful about what you tell yourself and believe because you experience directly the effects of your words felt throughout your being. This enables you to follow a path that is inspiring; and true to who you are. As you develop a daily practice using these 3 strategies, you begin to feel encouraged by your words and as you take the steps towards completing what is most meaningful to you; and which nourishes your inner being. These three practices are incredibly simple, your results are directly correlated to making them a daily habit; as you re-train your mind unto what is true and what you will believe of yourself to be possible.
Your self-confidence grows as you strengthen your resolve to continue being your best self; and to believe that you can accomplish all that you set your mind towards. – dorothy ratusny
Think of the example of planting a vegetable or flower garden; or in simply buying a potted plant from a nursery. Your job is now to care for and nurture what you want to grow. It’s the exact same way with self-confidence. You are the only person that can grow your positive feelings and your belief in yourself, and the beauty of this is that it is possible to do so.
Confidence is a person’s belief that a chosen course of action is the right choice and that they can properly perform that action. As a personality trait, confidence is sometimes referred to as self-confidence. This term describes the attitudes and beliefs people hold regarding their abilities and strengths. *Source: goodtherapy.org
How do you define confidence? What does it mean to you?
To become more of something, you must first know what more will be. What are the ways in which you want to be more confident?
It’s much easier to think of yourself in positive ways when you are happy; when your mind set is positive. Wouldn’t it also be helpful to know how to prime your mind; to organize your thinking and beliefs in a way in which you may feel positively about yourself, your life and the world that you live in?
So at some point during or at the end of this podcast, I’d love for you to make a few notes; deciding the ways in which you wish to be more confident. Then, use the strategies here in these best practices to help mobilize yourself towards building a more confident you as a personality trait and as belief in your ability to make the right choices for yourself and to be successful in your actions.
For example, maybe you want to be more confident in your interactions with others and how you speak and carry a conversation. Or perhaps you want to be more confident in the way that you parent, or in how you are at work with co-workers and your boss. Perhaps you want to be better at owning your successes and feeling greater confidence in your decision making along a path that will be right and best for you. When you identify the areas in which you want to have more confidence, then you can begin towards this taking the specific action steps that you need to accomplish this.
Many people want to have greater self-confidence but they haven’t clearly defined the areas in which they want this.
There are 3 most effective ways to build self-confidence. I’m going to share these here together with the rationale for why these are so important. It’s best if you can use these 3 most effective practices daily; if you want to build your confidence quickly and for it to be a sustainable personality trait. I’m also going to share 2 BONUS strategies of guidance for becoming more confident, that will support these 3 best practices.
To build confidence, use these 3 simple and yet overlooked successful practices:
1. The first practice of self-confidence is the importance of mindfulness of what you say to yourself at all times. What you tell yourself, you believe. Be far more attentive and discerning to your inner dialogue. This may be shocking at times when you realize what you have been telling yourself that causes self-doubt, insecurity, and fear. 2. Choose deliberately the words that you speak both inwardly and aloud (and what images you hold in your mind). Begin to define the beliefs that you want to hold regardless of whether you believe in them fully yet. Confidence grows with encouragement and kindness. You must be willing to see your goodness, and to acknowledge what makes you uniquely different, special, and talented. (Sometimes this may be precisely what we have been teased or judged harshly for). How you are different from others is often a strength. You can best develop your strengths and confidence by curating a list that highlights the ways in which you are capable; what you see as your positive traits and abilities; and how you are resilient. Remind yourself of this using phrases and keywords that you repeat often. For example, “I am innately wise.” “I am a talented _________ (and fill in the blank here) (e.g. writer/musician/performer/artist/speaker).” “I am defining my success and living it fully.” “I have an important purpose in the world that I am living now.” Your written list and how you remind yourself of your talents and abilities is how you re-train your mind to hold belief in yourself and to grow your confidence and worth. *’I AM’ and ‘I HAVE’ statements reflect manifesting this in the here and now. They bring all of what you want into the present moment for you to witness each time that you reinforce this with your words spoken quietly and aloud. It goes without saying that you must have fun with this process. Your positive feelings of yourself will grow your confidence. 3. The third practice of self-confidence is this: Confidence grows when you take action; when you challenge yourself in new situations, and as you learn and improve. Your encouraging words spoken inward and aloud remind you of your strengths and positive traits is how you feel encouraged to try new things, to better yourself further and to take more positive action which in turn builds confidence and competency. When you challenge yourself to grow and become better through positive action, you grow confidence and belief in yourself.
These 3 practices also require your ongoing effort as you are teaching yourself how to think differently from what has likely been a well ingrained habit of critical and negative self-talk over a lengthy period of time. It will be helpful if you can enjoy as you grow belief in yourself and as you nurture esteem and worth.
You grow confidence each time you acknowledge your greatness. Acknowledging your greatness is reminding yourself – remembering – how incredible you are. We all have unique gifts and talents that simply need our attention, and our willingness to use these to become even more skilled at them. This is an important part of what we are here to do in this life; to enjoy the journey of expressing and using our innate talents and gifts in a way in which we enjoy and feel inspired by. This is what is meant by finding and living your life’s purpose. To remind yourself of all that you are good at and enjoy is helpful to mobilize you towards this and to live it. You grow self-confidence each time that you recognize your innate talents and abilities and what effort you have made in becoming better at this.
*I will also encourage you here, if you haven’t already; to listen to season 1, episode 1 of this podcast where I’ve focused entirely on what it means to live your greatness. The ideas and techniques I share in episode 1 will support and assist you in becoming more confident. All of us can benefit from developing our self-confidence. As a personality trait, self-confidence may be measured along a continuum. There is no limit to growing your confidence. Your confidence can at times be hindered by what happens in your life. How you navigate challenges and situations as well as what choices you make are all important means of nurturing and growing self-confidence.
When you identify your unique talents and abilities, you reveal your greatness. What you believe to be your greatness defines you. As you appreciate your talents and innate skills, you hold greater value of yourself; and you feel pride and worth. It is your talents, abilities and innate gifts (what you are naturally good at and what comes easy to you) that light a path and that become purposeful and of meaning. This is how you may define your life’s work or purpose; which of course is unique and specific to you. Whatever you define your purpose in the world to be, validates what you are capable of. Your abilities and inherent knowledge and wisdom; is what allows you to feel special, needed, and to know that you have an important place and role in the world. All of this perpetuates confidence and allows you to move with momentum towards all that you desire. All of these are moving parts of a greater whole; all of these hold a reciprocal effect; each one supports and assists in building the cumulative ‘whole’ that is you.
You must make it a regular practice to acknowledge the positive aspects of yourself. This is how you feel encouraged and supported in who you already are.
There are no hidden secrets to growing confidence; just the mindful and regular attention that you give to what you tell yourself and what you are willing to believe. Remember that the words you speak inside your mind are going to determine how you feel and what choices you will make; including any inaction that comes from your lack of belief in yourself. Kind words and encouragement that become your daily mantra will result in positive feelings and behaviours; and the belief in your ability and worth. This encourages you to continue taking positive steps towards all that you desire; to believe endlessly in your potential and the having of what you want, and to never give up.
Growing your confidence may at times require that you have metaphorical blinders; so that you compare yourself to no one – unless you are using the positive examples of the success of others to incite possibility and belief for your own success. Otherwise, comparing yourself to others will not serve your highest good. – dorothy ratusny
In addition to this list of 3 best practices, here are a few additional strategies and tips for increasing your positive feelings of yourself and becoming more confident.
- Similar to thinking about what you are grateful of, which helps immensely to change your mood state, to boost your positive feelings and to feel encouraged; write and keep an ongoing list of what allows you to feel good (and even great) about yourself. This is a powerful way to grow self confidence quickly. This is something that you can do daily; that you can practice deliberately to feel encouraged, and in moments when you need to be reminded of your immense ability for accomplishing all that you deem to be most important and set your mind to.
- I would suggest that you begin each day with a mental or written checklist that reflects positive words, encouragement, and kindness directed towards yourself. This is not a list about being perfect as based on some standard that may not be reasonable, but to uphold with loving kindness, a way of speaking about yourself – to yourself – that becomes the most incredible and beautiful mantra of words (and related images) that you could ever imagine saying. During the day, notice moments when you are self-critical or loathing and stop. Replace these damaging words with words of kindness, encouragement and love (perhaps using your written list as a strong source of guidance and help) because this is what grows confidence and belief. Eventually you will look for and say only kind and loving words to yourself as statements that depict your true goodness – and greatness.
“Greatness is not bound in ego but rather it is the acknowledgement of all of the good that is innately what you are.” – dorothy ratusny
Start with what you find easy to say about yourself that is encouraging, supportive, and positive. Be sure that your ‘list’ includes not only aspects relating to your physical attributes but your intellectual abilities, character strengths, and the personality traits that you most appreciate, because who you are is so much more than what you see with your eyes. If you are making this list in written form, you can give it a title – call it something that will inspire you. (e.g. ‘my list of greatness’) The first time you sit to do this, think of all of the smallest details and aspects of yourself that you may take for granted and that you don’t often give yourself credit for.
- You build confidence when you are honest and kind with yourself; to not compare yourself with others – to only see your goodness (and greatness) as if you were speaking to yourself as a child; as you were helping your ‘child self’ see and know all that is valuable, special, unique, and great – about yourself – as you are. Try to reflect on rather than gloss over details and aspects because for you to acknowledge these helps you to build greater confidence and self worth. Add to your list daily – and certainly whenever you wish to feel better, to feel confident and empowered. You can help to anchor these ‘truths’ by also listing ‘why‘ you are what you are. Let yourself identify the qualities that remind you of your goodness and to know why you are these. Observe how this practice of finding the good – of acknowledging the good – grows your confidence – unwavering – unrivalled.
Self esteem and self confidence transcend every thought, every action, and all of how you feel. If you would like my help to build and redefine your confidence, please reach out to me. Your confidence is so valuable for what you believe is possible for yourself and your life.
As a challenge, if you would like more practice in being a more confident version of yourself, you can make a pact to become the very best version of who you are. Set out to change one thing about yourself that you have been wanting to improve. Let yourself gather what information you need to make this change. Seek out what professional help, books, courses, and any other support that will allow you to be successful at this. The happier you are with who you are, and how you are choosing to be, the more your confidence grows. Choose something to change that you feel inspired by. As you begin to make changes to one aspect of your life, you will likely notice other desired changes being easier to make.
When we recognize aspects of our personality, our behaviours, or our thoughts and beliefs that are no longer serving us, and if we do not take the steps towards changing this, then we will continue to feel less confident in these areas. Make an effort to change even if the change you want takes time; doing so will be so rewarding and it will boost your confidence in your ability to make other changes. Make it a priority to become the very best version of you; and to begin this now.
As a special offering of love and something that will also help immensely each time you experience it, enjoy the guided visualization that I’ve curated specifically for becoming more confident and for believing in yourself. It will help you visualize how you want to be – now, and to live as this even whilst you are manifesting and growing your confidence.
If would you like my help and an individualized program for building greater confidence please book your free 15-minute discovery session… with me!
Sharing the wisdom and beauty of divine love with you…
Namaste!
Podcast Theme Music: ‘Aura’ by Illuvia www.eternell.net/album/illuvia
Accompanying Music: Eternell, ‘Kalimba’
A generous ‘thank you’ to Audio Engineer, P. Kirpikau for your excellent work!
Leave A Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.