This question comes from David in Sebastapol, California and is based on the teachings in my 10 day ecourse featured on Insight Timer (Meditation app): ‘The 10 Sacred Habits of Meditation’.

When we believe something is our truth; that it is what is best and right for us – there is a way of knowing for sure. It is this. When you become quiet and go inward – whether during meditation, prayer, or inner contemplation – you can ask the question of your highest self, “Is this choice or decision aligned with my highest good (with what would make me happiest?)” Let your heart speak.  Let yourself sense/feel/hear your intuitive answer.

In the quiet space of soul searching – when you go inward for your answers; when you ask for guidance from your highest self – you must remember that what is your truth – what is the best and right decision for you, can never harm another.  Yes, your decisions may at times require that your partner, your children or other loved ones will need to adapt to the changes that you are making; but in reflection after some time and after your decision has been made; and as David also notes – those loved ones that were struggling with the change of your decision – which impacted their life – will likely be able to say with complete honesty – that for whatever they struggled with or resisted – became the ways in which they were challenged to grow; and that your decision ended up being one in which they benefited from as well.

There are certainly cases where people have made decisions that have caused much stress and conflict for their loved ones. In the end, this may have provoked a rift or worse – an unravelling of a family unit and a couple relationship. In these particular situations one only has to ask, ‘Was the decision made based on the ideals of one’s highest self ?’ A decision made from your heart will feel entirely different from one made based exclusively on self interest and ego.

In the end, even your best guided decision may cause upset for those you love the most. However you must make your decisions based on what is right and best for you; trusting that as you do, your partner and/or your loved ones will also make decisions that are best for them (in light of the change that is now coming) and that their decisions will align with your own in the best possible way.

In this case, I would suggest David that you did make your decision from your heart and of truth – and not your ego. Yes the decision was to advance your career and as you mention, it did cause some difficulty for your wife. However the key factor to remember is that when we use our ego mind for decision making we rarely if at all factor in the comfort and the consequences of our decisions impacting others. You did take into consideration what your decision would mean for your wife and family – and after what I am sure was a time deliberating, your truth – your heartfelt decision – was still the ‘right’ and ‘best’ choice for you.

I imagine that once your wife and family adjusted to the move – they would likely claim to be happier now.  Change does not always feel comfortable and it often challenges our perspective and beliefs – but the moment that we embrace what change is before us, something quite beautiful happens. Our acceptance of the change allows us to look for ways that we can merge with it; to enjoy the new experiences before us and to be allow our self to be gently shaped by this growth experience.

I hope this helps you David – and others who may be deliberating an important decision and how best to take
action.  Namaste!

Preview the ecourse that I mention in the video at: theschoolofwisdom or on Insight Timer (Meditation App).

/// MUSIC: Hammock, ‘Will You Ever Love Yourself’

*If you wished to purchase an extended version of this ecourse which includes the additional personal commentary audios for each day’s lesson and further guidance and helpful suggestions for how to live each of these sacred habits as life practices, please visit the school of wisdom. You will also be able to see what other courses are offered here. Thank you!!