“This is how you curate happiness.”
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Happiness is used in the context of mental or emotional states, including positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. It is also used in the context of life satisfaction, subjective well-being, eudaimonia, flourishing and well-being. *Source: Wikipedia
We all prefer to feel happy; innately. Actually, happiness is your natural state of being.
Most people subconsciously seek out what will “make” them happy; looking outside of themselves for this elusive feeling. Instinctively, we seek out ways in which to feel uplifted, positive, happy; and its feel-good effects which inspire positive thinking (and action) because this is a preferred state of being.
The Harvard Second Generational Study (acquiring 80 years of longitudinal research) suggests external factors and life situations that are most important for one’s happiness; and that good relationships in particular, are what keeps us healthiest and happiest.
Your desire to feel and be happy, I believe is inherent; and for good reasons. When you seek a path for your life that is influenced by positive feelings; feelings of happiness, joy, contentment, and excitement, it is like you are riding the wave of your inner GPS. Your positive mood state acts as an effective tool, guiding you on a path based on what feels good and right – for you, and what is ultimately most meaningful. I have witnessed hundreds of clients follow their heart along a path which they have chosen based on their inner guidance of happiness, peace, and inner fulfillment, which has led them to living their self-professed ‘life’s purpose’.
When you are pursuing what you love, feelings of happiness, joy, contentment, (at times) excitement, and inner peace are what you expressively feel, naturally. This ‘happy (uplifted, joyful) state’ that we naturally want to live from as much as possible; is also the state that we feel whenever we are living as our source; as our spiritual or energetic being. *Each of these words describe our true essence; as what we are as beings of (divine spiritual) love.
Most of the time we look to ‘things’ or others to ignite our happiness; which in fact, perpetuates a cycle of being dependent on external sources for how we feel. Happiness is elusive if we don’t know how to incite it from within us; where it originates as malleable energy.
Why is it important to know that happiness is your natural, inherent state? To know this reminds you that “happiness” is something that you must choose. Then you can by choice, live from this state in all of your conscious moments; as much as possible.
Authentic happiness is your inherent state of being.
You have the ability to curate this feeling for yourself in any moment; and to feel it by choice as often as you choose. If you did this for yourself, would it change the way you live life?
Begin to curate happiness from within; and of your choosing. You do this by being observant to the moments in which you have moved out of this state (likely unwillingly) because of the thoughts that you hold. You can also practice not attaching your emotions to the words and actions of others who are less than kind or positive.
Remember that your inner nature is always calm, peaceful and gentle; and that you have the ability to experience the loving presence of energy that is your source, at will. In this state you feel happiness – readily. Think of this as flipping a switch inside your mind; telling yourself that you have chosen to feel happiness; that you are happy, and allowing yourself to feel this ever-present state from within you.
You can make it a daily practice to direct your focus inward for a time each day; as often as you choose. In silence and stillness, witness your inner nature. Notice what you observe and how you feel, when you are of the present moment. Feel your natural inner state emerge from within you. What is this? Your inner dwelling state is this peaceful, calm, and content state of being, that is happiness; that is what you innately are.
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“Feeling positive, uplifted, and happy is a free will choice. We all have the power to choose this in every moment.” – dorothy ratusny
There are going to be moments when you can’t possibly imagine feeling happiness; the point is not to discount other emotions and their relevance in your life, but rather, to know that you have the power and ability to feel happiness by choice and of your own doing; and because this is your inherent, free-flowing state whenever you are of the present moment.
It’s also helpful to practice remaining in your center and in-balance, content, and happy even in the midst of others who are not living their inner happiness. The idea is not to feel roused and influenced by the state of others. Of course, this takes practice, and it is much more difficult when it is your immediate family and loved ones who may not be living as their authentic self. Just know that it is always possible to return to your natural inner state by choice.
The next level of exuding happiness is to share this with others on purpose – so that it becomes contagious. You will help others to return to their authentic state of happiness (and inner peace) simply by remaining in your own; and sharing of this happiness and inner bliss by choice.
Practical wisdom to contemplate living your inner happiness:
You can spread your joy and inner most state of happiness with others so easily by smiling, by saying a kind or positive word; and by being friendly. If you look to others as your source of feeling upbeat or happy, it will be a temporal experience at best. A far better means of experiencing happiness is to choose it; and then to experience it fully; as your inner being, and as what you inherently are. As you uncloak what critical and ‘negative’ thinking you have shrouded yourself in; you can better choose how you want to feel first and then, to choose what you will think to initiate this.
Much of the time it is your thoughts that have moved you out of feeling contentment, joy, inner peace, calm, and happiness. As you observe this, and as you witness the moments in which you go in search of happiness that is external to you; ask yourself, “What do I need in this moment to be happiness; or to feel happiness from within?” Let your inner voice guide you. Close your eyes. Sense, feel, hear, see your answer. It will be right there waiting for you. Look inward first (and always) for feelings of happiness (joy, elation, comfort, peace, gratitude, etc). Know that this state of being is what you inherently are; whenever you are present to it.
Where do you find joy, happiness, contentment? Where do you go in search of this feeling?
Most of us look externally for the source of our happiness. We look to experiences, habits, other people, and to the having of ‘things’ to “make us feel good”. Is your mood state dependent on the jolt of adrenaline that you get from your morning caffeine; or do you enjoy coffee as ‘an experience’ but rely on your positive self-talk and feelings of gratitude to feel happiness inherently? Do you sometimes socialize with people knowing that this helps “put you in a better mood” or forget the problems you have been ruminating on? What are the ways that you look outside of your self to feel better?
Enjoying positive social interaction, caffeinated beverages, or a playful distraction that can help shift your energy and mindset, reminding you of your potential to feel your inner happiness are perfectly acceptance; and we actually need these experiences at times to do what we may struggle to do for our self. However, its an incredible feeling to observe yourself choosing happiness and then eliciting it from within.
- When we teach our children to look inward for feeling positive and uplifted and for growing self-confidence; we are teaching them to internalize their successes and the positive feelings they hold about themselves; to practice self-encouragement and to seek validation from within. This becomes an ever-present and unlimited source of positive feelings and a powerful means of accessing one’s internal state of happiness and confidence. Consider holding thoughts that will both inspire and curate joy and happiness for you. Teach this to your children. Acknowledge that happiness is a state of mind as much as it is a free will choice.
To go in search of something to make you feel happy; if it is dependent on another or a material ‘object’ or condition will never be as sustainable as when you curate this feeling because of who you are; of your positive feelings about yourself, and of your ability to connect with the feeling of happiness that is instinctively your natural state.
Consider that we all are innately happy; that before we even make our way of bed each morning we have had dozens of thoughts; of which some may move us out of happiness and into such feelings as: dread, anxiety, envy, and sadness as well as many other emotions. However, if you remain present and as you hold awareness onto your breath, onto a part of your body; or simply gazing outward at something pleasant; you will likely feel it; the feeling of contentment, calm, inner peace, and comfort that naturally rises up from within; as long as you don’t squash this with negative or critical self-talk.
Try it for yourself. Upon waking (or at any moment), be present. Witness yourself in your body; eyes open or closed, taking in your present moment experience without judgment or criticism. Let yourself remain for a time as attentive and mindful in this moment; open to what you experience with a gentle curiosity.
Different than happiness, feelings of excitement that course through your body; might be experienced if you were skydiving, driving on a race track at accelerated speeds, or about to meet someone for the first time that you anticipate liking. Happiness is akin to feelings of contentment, positivism, and inner peace. You can experience moments of joy; as laughter and intense happiness; and you can also live more of the time in a state of inner contentment that is curated by holding presence in this moment. To feel your innate happiness does not require that you feel elation in all moments, although you will find yourself feeling more joy and more happiness easily, with the ability to exist in a “good” mood more of the time, by experiencing your ability to feel “innate” happiness and living in this state – by choice.
Try it now for a time. Let your focus be on your breath if it helps you to ‘be’ present. Breathe with awareness, holding presence in this moment and being a curious and mindful witness to your experience. You may need to remain present for a time, as you allow your inner happiness to be felt within you. Be patient. Let your mind clear of its thoughts as you hold focus onto your breath and just feel the sensations of contentment, peace, happiness felt within your body.
“The most important decision that you can make each and every day is to be happy. Feel your inner happiness as it originates from within you. Choose to live in this state. Decide that you will face the day as happy and joyful because to choose anything less is not enough.”
Discover happiness, joy, and bliss as your innate experience. Learn how to curate this feeling ‘of’ and ‘for’ yourself.
“You always have access to your innate source of happiness; your inner nature is this.” – dorothy ratusny
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You feel the absence of happiness whenever you move yourself out of this state with critical or negative thoughts, self-doubt, fear, and the anxiety that comes with focusing on the ‘what ifs’ and the problems that you contemplate, rather than what solutions would be ideal.
When you choose to feel your innate happiness; to live in this state; it is how you live free to be your authentic self.
As a helpful guide for curating daily happiness, I invite you to use these five practices. Choose to feel your innate happiness each morning upon waking and return to this desired state often (by choice) whenever you feel yourself off your path.
1. Visualize happiness. Feel the expression of happiness in your body. Where do you feel joy and happiness in your body? What does it feel like? Can you visualize this feeling expanding within you? (You may feel happiness in your heart centre, or perhaps throughout your body. Notice the sensations of it. (for example: lightness, expansiveness, and feeling energized). *You may also wish to experience the accompanying meditation to prime you in this.
2. Speak words of kindness and love to yourself; inward, aloud and using written words. You will immediately notice the feeling of happiness if you allow yourself to take in the words; to feel them soak in, even if sometimes it may be a challenge to fully believe what you tell yourself. Your kind and loving self-talk practised daily, will soon become a powerful tool for curating innate happiness on demand.
3. Exercise. (It may be a strenuous ‘all-in’ workout that leaves you feeling euphoric and calm thereafter; a walk in nature, or a session of yoga or stretching). Moving your body and holding presence in the experience, together with the natural release of neurotransmitters: serotonin, dopamine and endorphins in the brain, elicits the feel-good effect that you experience and which also has many reciprocal and long-lasting benefits. *Thinking thoughts that invoke happiness (as in #2 above) cause your brain to release these chemicals into your central nervous system which then causes reactions in other systems of the body.
4. Meditation (and perhaps a specific Meditation for eliciting inner happiness). *(Check out this one that you can do in 15 minutes). Meditation causes an increase in alpha waves in the posterior part of the brain, characteristic of ‘wakeful rest’. This allows you to feel the positive state of calm, inner contentment, happiness; and even moments of bliss. Meditation also teaches you mindfulness, and the ability to observe with curiosity, in the present moment which is the same formula for how you feel your innate happiness, easily.
5. Gratitude, and lots of it! Be thankful for all that is in your life currently, and all that is on its way to you. If you would like more help and guidance with your gratitude practice, please enjoy this guided audio meditation that is best experienced upon waking.
+ a Bonus practice for curating inner happiness: ensure that what you do each day feeds your soul. Dedicate time each day to what nourishes your inner being; and what allows you to feel happiness because of this. When you follow the gentle urging of your heart, it will always lead you directly to the best and right means of feeling your inner happiness – easily.
Allow for the simple pleasures and experiences of life that you enjoy most; even if you sometimes need to motivate yourself to make this happen. Some examples of what your heart may curate for you includes: listening to music; tapping into your natural creativity (e.g. doodling and drawing, writing, art, painting, designing; being outdoors and in nature; daydreaming; and enjoying wholesome foods that nourish you). You also need sufficient ‘alone’ time to ponder ideas, to self-reflect, to contemplate the future; and to honour your present moment needs. This is how you feel self-nourished, content, and innate happiness.
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…and a few final tips for curating innate happiness:
Honour your need to be happy. If others are being negative; choose to step away, and remain in your personal space of joy and inner happiness. You don’t need to continue in conversation with those who want to commiserate in negativity and complaints. Practice your habit of being free with your kindness since kindness is a form of love and it immediately opens your heart to happiness, love and inner peace.
Join me for more ways to curate happiness and joy.
READ: The WISDOM Blog: How To Curate Unleashed Joy
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For more guided meditations and musings to help you tap into your inner happiness, please visit the WISDOM Archives for free downloadable content to enjoy!
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